Friday, September 26, 2008

Beowulf Paragraph

Beowulf is known a great leader in his time. He led the Geats in a very dreadful time. Beowulf saved them from many monsters. Beowulf had a ton of pride. But he could back it up. He had the strength of 30 men. That helped him to defeat the many creatures that he did. But having a lot of pride isn't always a good thing. Beowulf got a little to confident and tried to go kill the dragon. He did accomplish that but in the process he also got himself killed.

1 comment:

Brian said...

Liz,

Your topic sentence is a little broad; tell us why specifically he was a great leader and then support that argument with details. The sentence you starts with "But": lowercase the 'b' and change the period before it to a comma; this makes is a compound sentence. Try to vary your sentence beginnings more. You develop the argument in your paragraph about the dangers of Beowulf's pride; therefore, you should put it within your topic sentence:

Late- Grade- 17/25