Friday, September 26, 2008
Beowulf Paragraph
Beowulf is known a great leader in his time. He led the Geats in a very dreadful time. Beowulf saved them from many monsters. Beowulf had a ton of pride. But he could back it up. He had the strength of 30 men. That helped him to defeat the many creatures that he did. But having a lot of pride isn't always a good thing. Beowulf got a little to confident and tried to go kill the dragon. He did accomplish that but in the process he also got himself killed.
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1 comment:
Liz,
Your topic sentence is a little broad; tell us why specifically he was a great leader and then support that argument with details. The sentence you starts with "But": lowercase the 'b' and change the period before it to a comma; this makes is a compound sentence. Try to vary your sentence beginnings more. You develop the argument in your paragraph about the dangers of Beowulf's pride; therefore, you should put it within your topic sentence:
Late- Grade- 17/25
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